Every day, you are surrounded by examples of emotional Intelligence in action, and without even realising it, you navigate relationships and everyday events using your Emotional Intelligence.
SR STILIYA JOS K
We deal with all sorts of people: students, parents, teachers, friends, facilities personnel, superintendents, and local politicians on a daily bases. We come across different emotions of people, like, anger, happiness, fear, mood states, preferences; and these bodily states influence how people think, make decisions and perform different tasks. We must be prepared to deal with complex situations. Each situation demands a particular response that must be handled swiftly and appropriately. Often, the demands placed on us, to improve or learn a new condition, are stressful and can cause resistance. They require not only intelligent quotient (IQ) but also Emotional Intelligence (EQ), Spiritual quotient (SQ), etc.
Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and former writer for the New York Times, in his book Emotional Intelligence (1995), used, for the first time, the term Emotional Intelligence. Salovey and Mayer's white paper on EI (1990) defined EI as 'the ability to monitor one's and others' feelings and emotions’. Accurate awareness and acceptance of emotions would help individuals balance their behaviours. Emotional injuries are plentiful, and most people do not have the emotional strappings to manage them. Emotions are not universally experienced, and we each have to understand that our emotional behaviour is our responsibility. Dr Joan Rosenberg, the creator of Emotional Mastery and Emotional Mastery Training, is highly regarded for expertice on psychology, and as master clinician, trainer, and consultant, who states that the more we become aware of emotional Intelligence's importance, the better would be the world we create. Improving self-confidence by responding to unpleasant feelings with intention, patience, and choice can help emotional wellbeing. Emotionally intelligent individuals with a solid moral compass are less easily manipulated.
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
There are moments in life when you may wonder, ‘How does she always seem to have everything under control?’ Whether it's a co-worker who handles challenging work situations without offending anyone or a buddy who instantly makes strangers feel at ease. Their Emotional Intelligence, or their capacity to keep track of their own and other people's emotions, hold the key. Every day, you are surrounded by examples of emotional Intelligence in action, and without even realising it, you navigate relationships and everyday events using your Emotional Intelligence. For instance, a friend who comes to you and shares his anxiety issues and anxiety-related marital relationship problems might want to share his feelings with you. You listen empathetically and objectively; then you may explain the possible reasons for the anxiety and relationship problem. After you may advise your friend on how to avoid this in the future. And you may do all this without upsetting or offending your friend. This is a classic example of using your Emotional Intelligence in daily life.
Emotional Intelligence is a key to having a successful intra and inter-personal relationship. In social functioning, Emotional Intelligence is postulated to promote positive social functioning by helping individuals to detect others' emotional states, adopt others' perspectives, enhance communication, and regulate behaviour. Several studies have found EQ to be a good predictor of psychological wellbeing and work performance. EI is not the only determinant of people's wellbeing but profoundly impacts leadership effectiveness and success. EI influences organisational results, the functioning of a group and a team, organisational change, potential sustainable growth etc. Employees' tactics for handling stress and conflict, as well as their overall job performance, are said to be influenced by their emotional Intelligence. As a result of these contributions, EQ training is now recognised as one of the essential therapies for assisting individuals in successfully coping with various personal and professional stressors.
How to improve Emotional Intelligence
One is advised to develop emotional Intelligence to prioritise thoughts and be able to control emotions in anxiety-inducing situations. Mayer and Salovey (1997) suggested that EQ consists of four functions. First, appraisal and expression of emotion in the self, refering to understanding one's deep emotions and expressing them naturally. Second, appraisal and expression of emotion in others, refering to the ability to perceive and understand other people's emotions. Third, regulating emotion in the self, refering to the ability to control one's emotions, which is crucial for an individual to recover quickly when experiencing a negative emotion. Fourth, using emotion to facilitate decision-making, refering to the ability to direct one's emotions to help improve performance. For example, "I have a good understanding of my own emotions" (emotion appraisal of self), and "I am sensitive to the feelings and emotions of others" (emotion appraisal of other). I am quite capable of controlling my own emotions (emotion regulation), and "I would always encourage myself to try my best" (use of emotion). Emotional Intelligence can help us understand why some people who might be very successful in their profession face problems in their marital or other intra or inter-personal relationships; why some teachers are not efficiently able to lead students in a class; and why some leaders would experience depression and struggle with managing their emotions, as well as numerous other similar situations.
Being mindful allows individuals to focus better on how other people around them are feeling. This is so that one may appropriately concentrate on a work that might be accomplished better when a particular feeling is in place and to avoid committing to a task that cannot be performed successfully under such emotions. Being aware of one's own emotions, both positive and negative, is a valuable skill. Emotions are part of human biology. They are chemicals that support the regulation of our minds and bodies and help us deal with the challenges of decision-making, social interaction, and life navigation. We experience emotions to aid in our ability to focus and pay attention. Though they might be difficult at times, emotions are a natural part of who we are and can be controlled. EQ is a skill that can be learned, measured, and supported by science.
In any situation, raising emotional Intelligence will improve the degrees of human comprehension and functionality. Everyone will benefit from improvements in empathy, social skills, self-awareness, motivation, and self-control. Being intelligent is lovely, but using your Intelligence effectively has a more significant impact. Feelings shouldn't be discounted; instead, they should be emphasised as cues for the right action and behaviour. Imagine the possibilities if a culture accepted emotions as information to help people make better decisions rather than as a source of indulgence.
Sr Stiliya Jos K is an Augustinian sister, and a PhD scholar in Psychology.
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