In a patriarchal society such as ours, the subjugation of women is like a precious heirloom being passed from generation to generation.
MONICA FERNANDES
The term “echoism” is a newly coined word derived from the Greek myth of Echo and Narcissus. The nymph Echo could no longer speak for herself after being cursed by the goddess Hera. She is only capable of repeating the last words of what others say to her and hence gradually loses her sense of identity. An echoist struggles to express herself. She seems content to play a supporting role. Narcissism is at one end of the spectrum and echoism at the other end. Psychologist Craig Malkin, who discusses echoism in his 2015 book, “Rethinking Narcissism,” describes it as a lack of healthy narcissism.
In a patriarchal society such as ours, the subjugation of women is like a precious heirloom being passed from generation to generation. Our society often demands women, especially those in the lower income bracket, suppress all personal aspirations and remain subservient to the male. Hence Echoism becomes a coping mechanism when the woman learns that her needs, opinions and personal goals don’t count, particularly in the lower economic strata. So she is constantly serving others, sometimes just in order to live. Her job is to give birth to children and work to the bone when she is well. She is neglected and treated as useless if she falls sick.
The girl child is discriminated against even before birth. A UN study entitled “Female Infanticide Worldwide: The case for UN Human Rights Council” states that 117 million girls go “missing” worldwide every year due to sex selection. The Asian Centre for Human Rights, a Delhi based NGO, conducted a global study, which revealed that the preference for a son is a major reason for female infanticide in many countries. The prevalence of the dowry system places an economic burden on the parents and hence they sometimes resort to female infanticide in India.
What is the life of a typical village woman in India? Gita and her daughter Kusum set out before dawn with earthen pots and trudge around 5 kms to reach the municipal tap supplying water. There is a long queue, a lot of pushing and shoving but at last the water is collected and the trudge back home begins. Then mother and daughter start cooking the family meal. After this, Gita and her husband Bitu set off to the fields where they toil in the hot sun. Kusum’s brothers Vinod and Mohan are lucky. They go to school and get to play. But Kusum is the little mother whose lot is to look after her younger siblings, five in all.
The man of the house feels entitled to hit the bottle. After all he has worked so hard. Kusum and Gita are busy getting the evening meal ready. Bitu, who is quite high, starts yelling at his family, grumbling about the food and starts hitting them. The nimble footed kids manage to escape and poor Gita gets beaten black and blue. As Gita is uneducated, she has no means of escape and is tied for life to an alcoholic brute who constantly taunts her. There are cases where a woman is killed because her husband did not like the meal she cooked. The wife serves food to the family and is the last to eat. From birth to death the woman is made to feel that she is a mere unloved beast of burden.
Lata is a part time help at my home in Mumbai. She is hard working, loyal and capable. She is a tribal from Chattisgarh. Hers is a sad but inspiring story. She has three children – a daughter and twin sons, one of whom is a slow learner and epileptic. She told me that the family was happy until the sons were born and her husband knew that one son would always be dependent on the parents. Then it was the usual sad story. He started drinking, hitting the family and driving them away in the middle of the night. One of the ladies she worked for at that time was good enough to give them shelter time and again. Today Lata is on a good wicket. She has separated from her husband and bought her own room with the help of her brother and employers. Regrettably not all women have a story with a happy ending.
Sadly, our country has seen degradation and cruelty towards women sink to an abysmal low with the torture, mutilation, gang rape and subsequent death of two young Dalit girls in Uttar Pradesh. Both the girls subsequently died in hospital after identifying their rapists who were from an upper class. Evidently the latter felt no remorse for their dastardly act since they viewed the girls as inferior. This for them was not a crime against humanity. The Supreme Court described the incident at Hathras as “horrible…..extraordinary and shocking.” In what was perhaps a cover up, the police hurriedly cremated the body of the hapless girl against her family’s wishes. Sadly there has not been a national outcry against these dastardly crimes. We, the educated, seem more concerned about avoiding boredom during the pandemic and the latest Bollywood news. Is our conscience intact?
This subjugation of women is not only a blot on our country, but hampers the development of the nation since women are not permitted to grow to their full potential. The winds of change are blowing, albeit at a slow pace. More women are joining the work force, some at positions of importance. Only widespread education can improve the position of women in society so that they are not brainwashed into becoming echoists for life in a patriarchal society. Only a concerted effort on the part of the government to spread education will make a dent on the medieval mindset of patriarchy. ∎
Monica Fernandes is an author. She writes regularly for several magazines. She has authored a book Towards a Fuller Life.
