To look up to the leader for understadning and support is a natural tendency and when it has been unattended to, one feels institutional betrayal, a bitter reaction that the important people in one’s life do not care.
DR AKEELA P
When the pandemic hit us, we were all unprepared for the rapid death toll effecting in every household, the onset made us realize our limitation to handle grief among the community especially among the leaders. To look up to the leader for support is a natural tendency and when it has been unattended to, we feel institutional betrayal, a bitter reaction that the important people in our lives do not care and are indifferent for the trauma; leading us to feel a moral betrayal, diminishing the feeling of being committed to; and developing a sense of disconnection towards the system and organisation.
The collective trauma we all faced raised the need of sensitive leadership; often referred as ‘Grief Leadership’. Often in time of the crisis Grief leadership is, fundamentally, strong people leadership,” said Alyson Goldstein, an organizational psychology consultant and director of development at On the Goga -a corporate wellness company based in Philadelphia. “Grief leadership is about leading people, whether they’re your friends, employees or a nation, through experiences of sorrow, difficulty and challenge.”
Grief leadership is not a new terminology in fact, the term “grief leadership” was coined by researchers from the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research’s neuropsychiatry department. The scientists were studying the after-effects of a December 1985 crash of a military transport jet in Gander, Newfoundland.
The event that Embarked the Requisite of Grief Leadership
On December 12, 1985, two weeks before the Christmas, families of soldiers were waiting to welcome them at Fort Campbell with a brass-band, however the fate had a different plan. All the 248 soldiers who were in a 6 month peace mission were heading back from Egpyt died as a result of Air Crash killing them all including 6 crew members, which Canada still remembers as the worst air crash they ever witnessed.
Maj. Gen. John Herrling, 2nd Brigade commander at the time of the crash, though in a shock did something remarkable that stood a witness of healthy grief response. He addressed the family and friends in the same gathering to acknowledge all the brave soldiers who died, and hugged and supported all the members for their loss and encouraged all of them to pick and move forward to make a better community by realigning the shared values of the community.
His primary concern was to help the grieving families.
The coronavirus pandemic was indeed one of the vital test for any kind of political leadership. All the leaders were presented the same test, same uncertainty. We all observed how each one of the leader reacted or responded to the same stressful situation, we witnessed their true innate nature to care for people -fake or genuine.
One of the effective leader was Jacinda Ardern, the 39-year-old prime minister of New Zealand. Their country had few death rates when compared to other developed nations, her main priority was to flatten the virus curve with short duration, her style did not indulge in blame game but rather constant Facebook live feed with her citizen, reassuring people with information with a causal tone; it was also noted that she often wore causal clothing during her live feed. That stance of a leader who is grounded, makes her so trustworthy, in fact her approval rating exceeded compare to other world leaders.
Main functional roles of a grief leader
A grief leader who steps into the role often executes three crucial roles
1. Providing the essential resources; financial aid, connect to the hospital facility, being in constant touch with the grieving family.
2. They maintain transparent communication.
3. Acknowledge the event, emotions and empathize rather than display of sympathy and advise.
Grief leadership is often challenging to function as it involves blend of being sensitive and ability to take necessary actions for the situation, as grief is very complex there is not right or wrong way to grieve. A grief leader is who allows themselves to be vulnerable, expressing their fears, not caring of being judged. They act in a quest to understand what grieving person needs instead of making assumptions.
Leader grieving is a powerful symbol. They remind us that grieving turmoil is normal, what they give us is a realistic hope that better days will come post the waves of grief, there is no time line for healing for it is an organic process, an assurance one day we will grow out of it as a wise person.
The guardian angel among us: anyone can become a grief leader
Are grief leaders limited to world politics? Or, is it the manager who ensured that all his colleagues, regardless of their hierarchy, travel 308 kilometers and say final goodbye to their colleague who passed away due to Cancer? Is it the Head of the Department who took over her sub-ordinate job role since she had personal crisis at home? Is it that aunt who safeguarded and looked after her nieces and nephew like a supporting mother post the death of their mother? Is it the congregation who prayed and supported their communion members in the time of need? Yes. All these are. Often it is a common person who functions and performs all the requisite of grief leader without knowing it. When the trauma occurs, we do not need grand gestures or an elaborate speech, what we need is a genuine, caring person who stands by us in our worst times, like a saviour and guardian in a common dress, spreading their wings to nurture us to say they are always there for us.
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