Pursuing a life of instant gratification, of success measured in material terms, seems great for a short while. But how long will it last?
MONICA FERNANDES
“Try to make at least one person happy every day. If you cannot do a kind deed, speak a kind word. If you cannot speak a kind word, think a kind thought. Count up, if you can, the treasure of happiness that you would dispense in a week, in a year, in a lifetime” – Lawrence G. Lovasik.
Happiness is not a destination. It is a journey. Since time immemorial we humans are trying to find the secret to this complex state of mind and action defined as ‘Happiness’ or the joy of living. Broadly speaking, happiness could be broadly divided into two types.
Living an eudaimonic life was suggested by the 4th century BC philosopher Aristotle. It means living an authentic, meaningful life. It is a quality which we must work towards and it must be intrinsically motivated from our choices. It involves living up to personal goals, fulfilling responsibility, looking out for others. Volunteering for such an individual is more fun than watching TV. It comes when we enjoy what you are doing. Victor Frankl said that human beings cannot be happy until their lives are meaningful. Reaching out to others using our talents enriches our lives. We have to work towards happiness. ’Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions,’’ said the Dalai Lama.
We cannot reach out to others unless we first love ourselves, accept our capabilities and know our limitations. Psychologists suggest that we practice gratitude thereby attracting goodness. Appreciate and thank the Almighty for small and big blessings. They suggest that when we succeed, we should be modest and acknowledge those who have supported us in our journey towards success. Prof. Sara Algoe stated that those who express gratitude when receiving a gift are more likely to make friends.
An experiment was conducted where volunteers were asked to close their eyes and think of somebody who really influenced their life for the better. They then had to write it down. Some were asked to phone up the person and express their gratitude. Their happiness was then measured. The happiness of those who only wrote down about how thankful they were increased between 2% to 4% whereas those who phoned their benefactor scored an increase between 4% to 19%.
It is suggested that we should be present in the moment and take life as it comes. Be positive and believe that bad times do not last forever. Prof. Ed Diener from the University of Virginia studied the brain scans of different people and found that happy people remember happy occurrences better than bad ones. Their brain scans reveal prefrontal activity and increased levels of serotonin and cortisol. They are close to family and friends. They are serene, had a sense of humour and reacted positively to a set back.
Studies show that those who were happy at the age of eighteen or twenty were more likely to become happy adults. Yet happiness could be attained by anyone who reframed negative thoughts and replaced them with positive ones. Psychologists say that we should be open to new experiences. Happy people cultivate a hobby. They are open to constantly learning and expanding their horizons.
Working towards happiness implies eating right, being creative with our food so that it looks and tastes good without compromising our health. We sleep for eight hours in order to recharge your batteries. We should not neglect exercising. In contrast to Eudaimonic happiness is selfish and short lived happiness. It is the result of pursuing ‘apparent goods’ according to Aristotle.
We may fall into the trap of hubristic happiness, of feeling superior to others. We are motivated by extrinsic factors such as a false feeling of superiority. We count our happiness in terms of a bigger paycheck, a larger car, a bigger house, and expensive holidays. Money, fame and status motivate us. Alas! These are but fleeting illusions and are not authentic. The Managing Director of a company is a nobody once he retires. We are happy only for a short while with new possessions and strive constantly to increase our material wealth. We are obsessed with success and are down in the dumps when we fail. Some employ devious methods as Lance Armstrong did in his craving for superiority. We end up being self centered, hollow and lonely.
It is unfortunate that today the Western notions of living way beyond one’s means has taken root in our country as well. We fall easy prey to advertisements promising instant happiness dependent on our buying the goods they advertise. Our bank balance may not be great but banks offer attractive loans and monthly payment terms which enable us to live far beyond our means. What happens when the bubble suddenly bursts, when we lose our jobs as happened during the pandemic? We are no longer in a position to pay off the loans and the banks happily acquire our homes and our fancy cars. A very unhappy, desperate, stressful situation indeed.
Pursuing a life of instant gratification, of success measured in material terms, seems great for a short while. But how long will it last? ‘’We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have’’, says, Frederick Keonigarcus.
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