A little self-doubt now and then wouldn’t hurt. After all, unchecked confidence does more harm than good.
Life as we know it is ever-changing. Society expects us to play various roles tirelessly no matter what life throws at us, and amid this chaos, we continue to progress and grow as students, professionals, partners, siblings or simply human beings. But in all this, it is often hard for many of us to recognise this progress and all the triumphs as our own, especially for people who struggle with Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome, also known as the impostor phenomenon, is characterised by an inability to internalise one's achievements or abilities, which leads to feelings of doubt and fear of being exposed as a "fraud." One may feel like they don't belong, are undeserving, or simply lucky or don't actually have the skills that match their achievements.
According to research, it affects 25 to 30 percent of high achievers and approximately 70 percent of adults may experience this at least once in their lifetime, making this a fairly common experience. Surely a little self-doubt now and then couldn't hurt. After all, unchecked confidence does more harm than good. However, feelings of impostorism are a form of intellectual self-doubt that can be all-encompassing; how constructive can they really be?
The source of these thoughts and feelings
Feelings of impostorism can stem from a variety of sources. They are frequently the result of personality traits such as perfectionism, neuroticism, and self-reliance, as well as unwelcoming or highly competitive environments. Dr. Valerie Young, a subject matter expert, divided competence types into five categories: the Perfectionist, the Superwoman/man, the Natural Genius, the Soloist, and the Expert. Setting impossibly high standards for themselves, how long it takes to achieve something or master a skill, and how much of it is a result of their own actions and efforts are all characteristics shared by all of these categories.
It should be noted that this is also prevalent in people subjected to negative stereotypes, subjected to excessive pressure to perform or come from a background of adversity. One may feel the need to do everything on their own because they cannot rely on others, or they may constantly compare themselves to everyone else. As a result, they may feel isolated and disconnected from their peers, and for those of us who have experienced these feelings, they aren’t exactly a whale of a time, are they?
My experience
In sync with Erik Erikson’s work, my teenage years came with an intensive time of self-exploration and analysis, a process I believe to be never-ending. However, at times questions like, “Who am I?” “What do I want from life?” and “What defines me?” transitioned to “Am I good enough?”, “Have I made the progress I’m supposed to?”, and “Is this all I’m capable of?”. Your typical identity crisis marked with a lot of introspection somewhere led to feelings of self-doubt. I'd frequently tune out conversations, wondering if I possessed the intellect and skills of my peers, sometimes even comparing myself to people with far more experience than I. Admittedly, times like these are not very constructive or good for your mental health.
As of today, I'm learning to believe that every day is a new opportunity to unlearn the things that hold me back and to be inspired by those around me. Accepting failures or criticism positively, in my opinion, is a learned behaviour. Are there days when I falter? Yes. If I said there weren't, I'd be lying. But, little by little, I'm learning new ways to cope and to fully believe in myself. Continue reading to explore some things that come in handy during my time of need.
How do you deal with impostorism?
Self-doubting thoughts and sentiments are common in almost everyone; the only difference is how people with impostor syndrome react to them. If you ever have these thoughts, ask yourself, "Is this hurting me or helping me?" Confront them. It is critical to developing the ability to distinguish between constructive and destructive thoughts. This can happen if a person observes their thought first, rather than immediately engaging with it. While this may appear to be a simple task, it requires a great deal of practice.
Reflect on all of your tangible accomplishments and track your growth. Take satisfaction in your effort rather than your innate ability to do anything. All of your intrusive thoughts can sometimes cloud your capacity to see how far you've come objectively.
Talking to people you trust can be incredibly beneficial; however, this is extremely difficult to do when you are afraid of how it will affect their perception of you. However, keep in mind that those who truly love you will accept you regardless of your circumstances. When you doubt your own abilities, it can also be beneficial to speak with a mentor who can provide you with a more objective perspective on your abilities. This will not only help you grow as a professional but will also provide an unbiased answer to your concerns.
Finally, it's critical for all of us to remember that we're all a little flawed in our own way. That social media page that encourages you to "hustle," yes, the one with pictures of people in expensive suits who appear flawless, is not reality. We make mistakes from time to time, recognise them and understand that they are a part of the process. An imperfect process. This very imperfection does not make you a fraud.
Remember, to err is human.
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