Noori got up very early today. She knew that today was her birthday. All these years she had not cared to remember her birthday, leave alone celebrate. Most aravanies (transgender persons) would curse the day they were born. But some unknown feeling had dawned on her, which made her remember that it was her birthday
Though she was not very enthusiastic about her birthday she got up early and started singing. The other companions who were still sleeping started shouting at her, asking her to shut up, as they wanted to sleep a little longer. Noori retorted, “Hey today is my birthday and I should be glad”. “How can an aravani be happy on her birth day, have you gone mad, Noori?” fast came the reply from the others. But Noori was feeling something special that day. She felt as if some special person was coming to visit her. She had a bath and got dressed up and applied some colour on her face. She went to the dining room. Nobody was there. She went to the kitchen and made tea for herself and after drinking it she stepped out of the residence. After coming out she realized that there was nothing special about the day. Every thing on the road was as usual and nobody took notice of her special dress and make up on the face. Noori was feeling disoriented. “Why did I get up early, got ready and stepped out of the hostel?” she thought.
Since there was no other option, she walked towards the traffic junction to ask for donation from the ‘honourable’ citizens. But she could hardly stand there asking the vehicle drivers and owner for the normal dakshina. “Why is the money we get called dakshana. We are not pujaries. But when we get some money, we have to make a religious gesture and pray for the wellbeing of the one who gives them a mighty little coin from their abundant wealth.” She was not in the mood to stretch out her hand and beg. She was feeling depressed. After standing for some time, she went to the side of the road and sat on the road divider. She wished some vehicle should come and knock her down and put an end to Noori. As she was sitting an elderly person came to her. She got up and moved away. She was in no mood to entertain any one and definitely not an elderly man. As she was moving away the man called her name, “Noori, don’t move away. I came to meet you. I want to speak to you.” Noori was shocked to hear some unknown person calling her by her name. But she had no time to think more about it. She retorted, “I have nothing to give you, man. Go away.” “I am your father, child. Don’t run away!” Noori had not seen her father for ages. He had changed. She had not recognised her father. The age had made him look very strange. Noori stood still, but she was not in a great mood to see her father. Her father and mother were the last persons that she would like to see on her birthday.
Noori was undecided. “Should I run away or should I speak to the man, called ‘my father’”. As she was standing the gentleman came near her. He was full of smile. But Noori had no emotions. Noori had no desire to talk to her father. She wanted to run away from the scene. She had never seen her father, mother or two brothers for a very long time. She was not even aware if they were alive or dead. Emotionally the very concept of Mother, Father, Brother and sister had become alien to her. She lived in a group controlled by a shetani. Shetani was the mistress or owner of the group of aravanies. The aravanies go to the traffic junction and beg. By evening they had to hand over the money to the shetani. The shetani would give five or ten rupees each for their personal expenses. In each group there is a team leader who would monitor the movements of the team members. If there was anything inappropriate report used to go to the shetani and the person concerned would get punished. She would be locked in a small room for a day or even for a week with just bread and water. Noori felt her sitting and talking with her father would invite her the punishment. Nobody will accept that the man concerned was her father. But something told her that she should sit and talk to her father, very briefly; and get back to her routine.
She asked her father to sit on the road divider away from her. Her father sat down a little away. He tried to control his emotions so that others would not take notice of it. Noori sat one her place looking at her father. She was not moved at first, but later she came close to him and wiped his tears. Noori asked him how he remembered her and why did he feel the need to come and see her. “I have been roaming around, going from one traffic junction to another with the hope of meeting you,” he started. “Where is the need to search for me? What can I do for you; what can I give you; I get just rupees five per day. It is not enough to have one cup of tea. What can I give? You go away. What happened to your sons? They should be earning a lot. Where is the need for you to come to me?” complained Noori. Her father taking a little pause replied, “Yes, they are alright. They don’t need me anymore. But since long I have been thinking about you. I was missing you very badly. I wanted to see you. I searched for you and now I finally found you.” Noori had become hard hearted. There were no emotions on her face.
She began walking away. But her father went after her and caught her hand. He started crying again. “Noori, we have done injustice to you. We have committed a great crime. You have done nothing wrong. God made you like this. It is not the result of your wrongdoing. You were not capable of doing any wrong. It is we—we have done wrong to you. We did not accept you. We pushed you out of the house. I have come to ask your pardon. Please forgive me. I have made another house; you will stay with me in that house. Your mother has passed away. She died crying out your name. She had a strong desire to see you. But the destiny has its way. We will stay together. You do not need to beg or get into any other business. I have retired and I get enough pensions to live a very comfortable life. You will not need to see your brothers. But they also feel for you. I have made arrangements so that your future is secure even after my death.” Noori looked hard at her father. She could see the pain on the face of her father. Noori stretched her hands and wiped the tears of her father. She embraced him. She agreed to go with her father. But she was doubtful about the story of a new house her father had purchased. He had come equipped with the papers of the house. She could not understand what those papers meant. Nor could she read those papers. But the new avatar of her father was enough to convince her that things have changed. She also had to change.
∎
