We love delicious food, we love to watch movies, we love to travel, we love to discover
new things and we love to brag about our culture. However, there is something peculiar
that we love equally – it, worryingly, is the habit of interfering in the lives of others.
Valuing personal space is an art that does not require talent or higher education;
instead, all it requires is value for others and a whole lot of common-sense.
In fact, the urge to intrude in the life of everyone is so strong in the Indian culture that
one forgets the purpose of one’s own life. Some wrongly describe this curiosity to get
involved in the life of others as care, compassion and empathy. Whatever you call it,
nothing is an excuse to poke your nose into the lives of others.
Most often we hear, talking among people in a social gathering “where do you come
from?” Why are you here? Which college are you studying? Why are you still jobless?
Why don’t you try to find a 9-5 job? Once we get a job, then the so – called well-wishers
start to find a partner for us and get involved in our lives again. “Why are you not yet
married? You are growing older. Buckle up and find a partner.”
The fun part is that even people with broken marriages try to convince us that marriage
is all that we need to lead a happy life. They force single people to marry as if the world
will be in chaos otherwise. The definition of happiness for some does puzzle me. Who
are we to tell others to get married, who they should marry and when they should
marry? Who gives us the right to be the wedding planner of every random stranger we
see on the road?
And after marriage, what else should be discussed? Yes, children. The very next morning
after your wedding, folks come up with this hot topic. I believe partners who are mature
enough to find each other also have the mental capacity to decide when they should
plan to have a baby. They don’t need you to tell them what they want.
Why are you still without baby? A question hurled to recently married couples. Perhaps,
majority of them are having the happiest time of their life together. Unfortunate, who
cares if you are happy or not? Some of them comment on the life of others as if the
whole existence of the universe depends on the decision to have children. Nevertheless,
is it not the couple who should decide to have children? Why do we let them fall under
peer pressure of the society to be happy? Therefore, always ask yourself, “Are we living
in their shoes?”
What if the parents are happy with the progress of their children, what if a grown-up
does not want to do a traditional regular job, what if one does not want to get married,
what if they have other plans in their life and is it a mandate that the life of everyone
why the life of everyone should look the same?
So why is maintaining your personal space important? Our personal space is largely an
area of "protection" around us and they provide us a feeling of safety and security. We
reserve our personal space only for those we allow in. When others don’t invading this
space, we feel valued and respected. This is an incredibly powerful and effective state of
mind. We also find it painful to watch this happen to other people in these situations.
Let us not assume and conclude that everyone should take the same road. Some may
want a different life and have different plans for their lives. Who are we to judge them
and live for them? Are we the ones who are living their lives? The answer is NO, a big
bold no. So, stop convincing others that we are the best decision-makers for their life.
Psychologist say that the tone and the behaviour of the person is depicted from the
length of distance he/she uses to maintain his/her daily life. The world will be better if
we let others live their own life. Instead pursuing them to do what you want, why don’t
you design your own life? Give suggestions only if asked. Otherwise, it is better control
your instinct to be involved in the lives of others.
