I once read an article about a woman in America who underwent forty surgeries in order to look like her favourite movie star!
MONICA FERNANDES
The French philosopher Rene Girard coined the term ‘Mimetic Desire’. He said, “Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and turns to others in order to make up his mind. We desire what others desire because we imitate their desires.” A lot of our desires are not our own but fake, illogical desires borrowed from others. Hence we are not focussed on obtaining either worthwhile objects or experiences. For instance, Vinod buys a bigger house even though he will have to work to the bone paying EMIs only because his friend has a large house. Tina became a teacher not because she likes to teach but her mother is a teacher.
A simple example would be two siblings playing happily with toys when one shouts to his brother,” Hey Ben. See what I have. My toy is better than yours.” This results in Ben punching his brother in order to get what he now thinks is a better toy. I remember a neighbour dressing his three small daughters in identical clothes. When I asked why, he said that otherwise each child thinks her siblings have prettier outfits.
The advertising industry capitalises on this aspect of human behaviour. The effect of repeated ads promoting a product is insidious. Social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram create a craving for what others have. Influencers and celebrities are reaping in the money endorsing products, sometimes which they themselves do not use. We are effectively being taken for a ride.
We blindly buy prohibitively expensive designer outfits just because a star is sporting them. We do not stop to think, “Will it suit my purse, my figure and my age?” We see advertisements of a handsome actor speeding around in a car with a beautiful girl by his side and we are swayed into thinking that we cannot be happy until we buy the same model. What actually happens is that we overreach ourselves and are extremely stressed in the process.
The con game played by companies is unethical when they influence our desires to use products that could harm us. We are told that a certain product is a must as it will boost our health and give us that extra burst of energy. What we only know if we read the fine print on the packaging is that the product has a generous percentage of sugar. The star endorsing the product has a professional team taking care of his diet and probably avoids it like the plague. At a time of instant gratification, we are sold the idea of getting instant noodles and instant coffee. We are totally unaware of the chemical additives which ensure that the product is instant.
I once read an article about a woman in America who underwent forty surgeries in order to look like her favourite movie star! This obsession about looking like someone else displays a total lack of confidence on the part of the woman and an inability to think things out logically. How do we make sure that we do not fall into the trap of taking on a lifestyle or appearance detrimental to our well being?
Experts suggest we take the time to think of our goals and write them out in order of preference. This will bring direction and focus to our lives. Do you wish to strengthen ties with family and friends? Plan out time to spend with your aged grandmother. Is it your ambition to become a software engineer? Explore what steps you need to take to achieve this goal.
When it comes to purchases, do we really need a new computer and the latest mobile? Are we able to afford these purchases ? Will they enhance our lives or are we yielding to mimetic desire? Management guru Stephen Covey suggested, "If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster. Choose the right wall to place your ladder. "
Another suggestion made by a psychologist is to stay away from the "shiny object syndrome." This is a psychological term to describe someone fixating on a fashionable idea, even if it does not help him/her ultimately. It is a distraction resulting from the fear of missing out. Don't allow your value system to be hijacked in the process.Whom do we want to imitate? We should choose our role models wisely. They are beacons on the path of our lives.
Desire is contagious. Others in your group or community may think alike. Think out of the box. While our countrymen suffered under foreign yoke and could find no solution to this undesirable situation, Mahatma Gandhi thought differently and was able to take an entire nation along with him. The nation followed the right role model.
Share failures and successes on your journey through life with others in a group of like minded people who are facing the same challenges. They are more likely to be sympathetic and offer solutions. Working as a team will help you to reach your goal. The group Alcoholics Anonymous is a case in point.
Ultimately our future happiness is in our hands. We could either follow the pied piper of consumerism or follow a path that will bring us a sense of achievement, happiness and make the world a better place.
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