The satisfaction that comes from being there for someone who needs support, is what social work is all about.
I have always been sensitive to the issues faced by people around me. I love helping them. I began feeling this way in school. I remember our teacher telling us the importance of words like 'Sorry, thank you, excuse me, and please'.
Every session with her started with us going through the day's newspaper to find a positive and impactful story. We would read them out loud and discuss them. This activity eventually inspired me to go try and make some positive impact of my own. My first step was to go to an NGO with a friend, and pitch a curriculum we had designed, hoping to teach it to some students. While that didn’t quite work out (we were just kids ourselves), it was still a great learning experience to begin my impact journey.
My next real step happened in the first year of my under graduation. I took a solo trip to Jaipur to travel and work with an NGO that helped children from difficult families and those who had run away from home. I taught the kids how to express themselves through theatre, something I had learnt from my teacher, and also the basics of photography. The experience, like all such experiences, was a two-way street. In turn, the kids taught me a lot about their lives and how they grew up helping each other survive.
In my second year as an under graduate, I worked with another NGO which helped children who had survived rape and abuse. These kids faced a double blow - first they suffered the abuse, and then they lost trust in people they were close to, who choose to not believe them. Here I heard a lot of stories about how they survived the horror - not just sexually, but also physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. This time it was difficult to separate myself from the situation. I had to learn to work for the betterment of the child, without involving myself emotionally.
For example, I visited a court for the hearing of a case of a child. I was not really sure of the age of the child, but it had been about four years since the crime and uncountable sessions had taken place before the system had arrived at the conclusion of the case. Having done my research on POCSO guidelines, I could follow and understand the proceedings, so I was giving updates via call to the lady I was interning for.
Among the updates I had to regularly share was about the mother of the child. Imagine the heaviness that mother must have felt. She was one of the parents who chose to fight for her child. The strength she held within her was unimaginable.
It was not a pleasant place to be: an old building full of stairs, a lot of rooms and white walls. Every room has an ongoing session. A lot of chaos. A lot of people. A whole lot of hearing sessions and a gloomy environment. Now imagine the perpetrator and the survivor are on the same floor. The perpetrator walking in shackles, and the child seeing him. That's what it was like. This method can cause a lot of trauma to resurface, but that’s the reality of our legal system.
Thankfully POCSO guidelines help keep the child relatively protected. The child is spoken to with respect. And the accused is asked to go behind a screen so the child doesn’t have to see them or be scared of anything. But, such guidelines can only do so much to help a child not be triggered.
Since that first visit, I have come across a lot of cases over the years. But it’s only recently that I have begun to separate myself from these cases emotionally, so I can engage with the person a little better and find a way to understand their needs. This growth has also allowed me to take my first steps as a creator of positive change, rather than remaining as an assistant to others doing the same.
In 2017, I began an initiative called 'Engage In You', where survivors of sexual abuse came together to express their experiences vocally, or through dance, theatre, drawing, painting, and music. No pictures or videos were taken for the safety of the survivors. It really did do us all some good.
Those sessions felt important, as they did help survivors communicate how they felt, what their needs were, what they were struggling with, and how they felt supported. I knew I was on the right path, and the years of experience had shown me how to walk down it even further. And I continue to walk down it any way I can. My most recent attempt came in October 2021, when I travelled to Shillong. A friend, who is a gynecologist, was invited to assess the situation of Maternal Mortality Rate in Meghalaya. I joined up to assist her.
A lot of mothers die in the region, giving birth to babies. In a case I came across the mother died giving birth to her 14th child, and the infant died the next morning. That was just one case among thousands. A primary reason for this, as was explained to us, was that patients simply did not have the means to reach distant and rare hospitals, from their homes high in the hills.
It’s heartbreaking, but a reality a lot of us haven’t even thought of. I learnt of it because I was there, and I could make a difference, however small. The satisfaction that comes from being there for someone who needs support, is what social work is all about.
Social work takes a lot of courage, strength and patience. I know I am not there yet, but I am learning. The work has made me more open to my own learnings and helped me unlearn what I don’t believe in anymore. It has pushed me to try and stand up for what I believe is right. It is a long journey. Perhaps one that will take an entire lifetime. But I’m getting there.
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